doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
