my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im six kinds of drunk right now
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
