I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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