Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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