If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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