i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
