All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
