even my farts smell like vagina
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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