I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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