after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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