dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
