He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Couch. On fire.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
