Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
