there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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