Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
