she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
