Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize