I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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