"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
