i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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