East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There r osticjed everywhere
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
