take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
one might say we're banned from that church
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
