Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I supernannyed him into submission
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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