bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if only i could text you this smell
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
