There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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