Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
