currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
