I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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