Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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