Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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