I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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