it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize