Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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