He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We have started to decorate penises.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
