So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
