Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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