im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
