doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
