Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
