Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize