My underwear smells like fireworks.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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