Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
All I want is dick and wine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
