Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
