Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize