your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
