How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
