maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
