In the future we'll all be gay
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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