Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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