Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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