My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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