I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
