Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
