i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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