I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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