yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
