So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
