So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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