We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
