That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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