Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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