so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
