I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
