Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
